I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
