It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
