Well douche your snatch and let's go!
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
