I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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