I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
