I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
