so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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