ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
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