butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
