Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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