I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
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it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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