Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
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I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
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I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
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