Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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