just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
where are my eyebrows?
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