The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
