Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize