for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
