Kiss
Puke
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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