I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
tell me about the eggs
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