in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
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