woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
It was confusing and full of hummus
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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