i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
the day after is always just damage control
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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