Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
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Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
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I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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