Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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