Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
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