I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
