You don't have asthma, your pregnant
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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