I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Randomize
