I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Where did you get a picture of my penis
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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