no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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