I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
