i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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