He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
