u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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