So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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