I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
