dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
