dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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