dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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