sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
