Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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