1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Randomize
