cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
May the power of my ass compel you!!
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
