I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
