My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
