How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i dont even know how to be here
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
