Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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