U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
