I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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