nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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