I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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