I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
