lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
