So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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