North Korea, Best Korea!
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize