Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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