Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize