I'm going to jail i love you
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
