you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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