They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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