Me. At least after what I've been through.
do herpes really smell.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
