I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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