Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
