4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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